It has been a hard week for us. We had two very long travel days in a row to get to Mesa, AZ from Texas. We stopped for a few days in a “55-years and over” RV park, which is basically all they have here in the Phoenix area! They let us in even though, technically, we are under age. Brent joked that you know things are bad when you need a fake ID saying you are older than you really are! 😊
I’m back to struggling with what I want to be when I grow up. Time is short and I want to make the most of it, but am still not sure what that looks like or what God’s plan is for us.
We got some bad news today that a friend’s child, who is only three and has struggled with bladder cancer for over a year, now has it in his stomach. This little guy has been through so much and although I don’t know this family well, they have become close to my heart in a way that I can’t explain. So there have been lots of tears and questions tonight and I finally gave up on sleep and am writing this at 3:45 a.m.
I know that questioning the “why” isn’t going to get me anywhere but I can’t help it. It seems so unfair. And then I start thinking about my parents, whom I miss so much, and my thoughts just take an ugly downhill turn.
I know I need to get back to the truth about God and His character. When I was texting with my daughter, Kaitlyn, tonight (who is very close to this family) she said, “I think the longer I live the more I realize how my perspective needs to change. That this world is sick and dying. That any safety, happiness, or peace we feel is an undeserved grace of God each day. That heaven is real and soon coming and that He must withhold more evil than we can ever fathom.”
How did I get to the place in life where I’m learning from my own kids? I don’t think I had that kind of wisdom or perspective at age 28. So, in a strange way, that comforts me. God has blessed me with amazing kids!
Some interesting things did happen this week. There’s another lady who isn’t an organizer, per se, but who has made a living writing books about organization and who has lived full-time in an RV for the past eight years. Long story short, I emailed her about something, not knowing that she and her husband were in Mesa for the winter. So last night (well, technically two nights ago) they invited us over for dinner. It was fun to hear stories from another couple our age who have decided to live this way.
Then today, the people who live on our street had an annual pot luck and we were invited. We joked that our social calendar has never been fuller! But being here for four days has made us realize that we aren’t quite ready for this life…meaning six months somewhere warm and six months somewhere else, although when you get to be a certain age, I certainly see the appeal.
Later this morning we head to Desert Hot Springs where we plan on spending a month. We are both excited to be in that part of the country and hope to do some day trips to Joshua Tree National Park, San Diego and other fun spots. I also hope to catch some tennis at Indian Wells in March.
Guess I will try to get back to sleep. Thanks for letting me vent.